We'll Never Be "Traditional" Homesteaders, and That's Okay

When people picture a homesteader, they usually imagine a pretty specific image because it’s based on history. They are subconsciously picturing the era shaped by the Homestead Act of 1862, when the U.S. government offered 160 acres of land to settlers who agreed to live on it and farm it for 5 years (see our post on the history of homesteading).

The aesthetic tied to that era has been romanticized by the media for decades, and many of today’s homesteaders understandably perpetuate the image — apron tied tight, freshly baked bread cooling on the counter, goats lined up for milking at sunrise. There’s likely a prairie dress involved. Probably some folk music playing. Definitely someone who makes their own soap.

And while I love watching and learning from those people online, and deeply admire the craft that goes into traditional homesteading, I’ve known since day one that I will never be that kind of homesteader. I just don’t fit that mold.

I’m what you’d call a non-traditional homesteader — a “modern homestead” girlie. The kind who can stack firewood, clear brush, and repair a fence line…but will absolutely be doing it in a hoodie, sweats, and headphones blasting TLC or Tupac. The kind who finds joy in learning how to grow herbs, tend fruit trees, and live closer to the land — without feeling called to raise animals for meat or churn butter from scratch.

Call it the space between city life and rural life. A lane for people who want the peace and self-sufficiency of homesteading without having to perform the role of the “perfect” homesteader. We’re building a different kind of homestead that makes room for my whole personality — the city girl I used to be, the mother I am now, and the person learning to care for land for the very first time.

I’m just as likely to be hauling brush with a toddler on my back as I am to be taking a dance break between wheelbarrow loads if the song on the playlist calls for it.

This is homesteading, but modern. Rural life, but still me. So let’s talk about it.

What Is a Modern Homesteader?

I like to think a modern homesteader isn’t defined by how many animals we raise, how off-grid we live, or whether we can make cheese from scratch. A modern homesteader is someone who chooses to live closer to the land in a way that fits our values, our lifestyle, and our season of life.

For me, that looks like:

• Learning how to responsibly care for a few animals — not for meat, not for dairy, but because I want to teach my child compassion, responsibility, and what it means to coexist with creatures outside of dogs and cats.
• Growing food that actually brings us joy and peace, not guilt or overwhelm.
• Building a home that feels warm, worldly, creative, intentional, and lived-in — not like a Pinterest board of traditional farm aesthetics.
• Letting my personality/identity come with me.

Modern homesteading is simply choosing presence, slowness, connection, and capability — without throwing away everything you loved about your “before.”

Why You Don’t Need to Fit the Stereotype

I'm likely projecting, but part of me feels like there's this intimidating myth in the homesteading world that there’s only one “real” way to do it, and that’s the way its been done historically. If you don’t raise dairy animals, grind your own wheat, or sew your own clothes, do you even homestead bro?

But I'm learning that in today’s world, there's no single definition of homesteading, and the second you stop trying to fit the stereotype, the lifestyle becomes a lot more joyful. My hot take is you can love the land without wanting 40 chickens. You can value sustainability without wanting to can 100 jars of tomatoes every August. You can raise animals because you genuinely want to love them and care for them, not because they need to offer you something in return.

The world needs more people carving out versions of homesteading that feel attainable and evolved for the current version of society. I'll probably soon learn that even today’s "traditional homesteaders" agree that homesteading is unique for everyone, and truly what you make of it.

Balancing Rural Living With Modern Life

One of the most common questions people ask is, “Do you miss the city?” The un-complicated answer is no. But I didn’t abandon who I was to live here, either.

The version of me that still craves good takeout, thrives in multicultural settings, loves an opportunity to line my lips and throw on winged eyeliner...I’m not overwriting that version of myself — I’m integrating her.

I see modern homesteading not as an escape from modern life, but a rebalancing of it.

One thing I always say is we used to live in the city and then escape for the weekend to serene places like this. But now, we live in the serene place and we escape for the weekend to a city if we need our city fix. I much prefer it this way around these days.

The Rise of the “Non-Traditional Homestead”

More and more people are landing in the same middle ground I’m in: not a high-maintenance city girl, not a traditional homesteader, but something in between.

The people who come from cities, maybe still have “city“ jobs, and want the option to drive into town for a good tequila cocktail, but also want land, nature, and space. People who want a big garden to tend to while checking work emails. This shift is huge. It’s redefining who gets to be a homesteader and what homesteading even looks like.

It’s homesteading for multicultural families. For people who like their land with a side of ratchet playlists. For parents who want their kids to grow up outside in wide open spaces, while also cultivating an appreciation for the multicultural worldview that the melting pot of city life can bring.

This new wave of homesteaders wants connection, not perfection. Maybe we want harmony and hustle. We want to slow down, but not completely morph ourselves if traditional homesteading doesn't speak to the whole of who we are inside.

And honestly? That’s the version of homesteading I see myself in.

A Homestead That Still Feels Like You

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t fit the traditional mold… good. That means you were meant to build your own version of this life too.

I know there are so many folks out there who feel the same way — who want certain aspects that the homesteading lifestyle brings but with their own twist. If this sounds like you, I'm so glad you're here, and I hope you manifest your unique version of a homestead.

If anything, this is your permission slip: your homestead is allowed to look and feel exactly like you. Not that you needed my permission in the first place, but just know there's space for all of us.

And if you're already living it and carving out your unique homesteading lane, great! I'd really love to learn from you.

Did you find this post insightful? Let me know in the comments or by responding to this email! I’d love to hear from you. 🥰